Muslims who truly understand the teachings of their religion are gentle, friendly, and likable. They mix with people and get along with them. They should understand that keeping in touch with people and earning their trust are part of the most important duties of true Muslims. This is an effective means of conveying the message of truth to others and exposing them to its moral values, because people listen to those whom they like, trust, and accept.
There are many hadiths that commend the type of person who is liked by others because of his or her good manners. Such a person is one of those chosen and beloved by Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). He or she will be closest to the Prophet on the Day of Resurrection. The Prophet said:
"Shall I not tell you who among you is the most beloved to me and is closest to me on the Day of Resurrection?" The Prophet repeated it two or three times, and they [the attendees] said, "Yes, O Messenger of Allah." He said, "Those of you who are the best in attitude and character." (Ahmad)
Some reports add, "Those who are down to earth and humble, who get along with others, and with whom others feel comfortable." (Authenticated by Al-Albani)
`Abdullah ibn `Amr narrated that Allah's Messenger never talked in an insulting manner and that he never spoke evil. It is also narrated that he used to say, "The most beloved to me among you is the one who has the best character and manners." (Al-Bukhari)
One attribute of the believers is that they get along with others and others feel comfortable with them. They like people, and people like them. How else will they be able to convey the message of Islam or achieve anything of significance?
The Prophet said:
"The believer gets along with people and they feel comfortable with him [or her]. There is no goodness in the one who does not get along with people and with whom they do not feel comfortable." (Reported by Ahmad and Al-Bazzar)
The Prophet himself set the highest example of good behavior toward people. He was always cheerful and easygoing, never harsh. When he came to any gathering, he would sit wherever there was a free space, and he told others to do likewise. He treated everyone equally, so that no one present in a gathering would feel that anyone else was receiving preferential treatment.
True Muslims are strong in their belief and in their adherence to good manners, yet they never accept compromises when it comes to their faith.
If anyone came to him and asked for something, he would give it to him or her or at least respond with kind words. His good attitude extended to everyone, and he was like a father to others. The people who gathered around him felt that they were truly equal, yet distinguished only by their level of taqwa (piety and fear of Allah). They learned to be humble, respectful of the elderly, compassionate toward the young, mindful of the needy, and generous with the strangers.
There are other characteristics that made the Prophet deserve Allah's praise. Almighty Allah says:
(And, verily, you [O Muhammad] are on an exalted standard of character.) (Al-Qalam 68:4)
These characteristics involve the following manners:
• He never looked for anyone's faults.
• He never tended to be argumentative.
• He never scorned anyone.
• He never disgraced anyone.
• He never talked too much.
• He never concerned himself with matters that were not of his business.
The Prophet never said anything unless it was for the sake of Allah. When he spoke, the people around him would listen attentively. They would speak only when he was silent. They never argued with one another in his presence. They would smile at whatever he smiled at. They would be impressed by whatever impressed him.
He used to be patient with those strangers who might have been harsh in their requests or questions. (His Companions used to ask those strangers to speak gently.) He never interrupted anyone who was speaking; he would wait until the person indicated that he or she had finished.
He was skilful in softening others' hearts and in showing them — through his kind words and sincere deeds — the way to winning people's love and admiration.
`A'ishah narrated that he used to be cautious of the bad and evil people. Nevertheless, he would speak gently to them and treat them well, not because he feared them, but because he was setting an example for his followers on how to deal with violent and vicious people. Such people should be treated with gentleness and caution so as not to stir the evil in them. The Prophet once told `A'ishah:
"O `A'ishah, the worst of people is the one whom people avoid [or are gentle toward] because they fear his [or her] slander." (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
True Muslims should follow in the footsteps of their Prophet and imitate his dealings with all people. If those people are good, this will help them accept the message of Islam. If they are bad, they will at least view this message in neutral terms and we will avoid their harm.
True Muslims are strong in their belief and in their adherence to good manners, yet they never accept compromises when it comes to their faith.
By Dr. Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi
A Muslim Author
